The 2010 U.S. Census found that only 48% of all American households were made up of a married couple.
A CBS news poll found that 7 in 10 Americans believe marriage is weaker than it used to be.
One of the reasons sited for the decline of marriage is women's financial independence. When the option of remaining single is available, many women will choose it over marriage.
Why Women Choose to Live Alone
Social psychologist, Bella DePaulo, PhD, who coined the word "singlism," when interviewed by WebMed, told of research that asked mother's what they wanted for Mother's Day. What did they want? They wanted time for themselves. Ms. DePaulo said, "Women who have the dream - marriage and kids - just want time to themselves."
Some of the happiest people on the planet are women over fifty living by themselves. And, just because you're independent, doesn't mean you're celibate. Given equal opportunity, women may very well choose a structure very different than the old fashioned nuclear family.
Kate Bolick, in her extensive article for the Atlantic titled, All the Single Ladies, writes of the Mosuo women. Sometimes known as the Kingdom of Women, their habitat is situated in the Chinese provinces of Yunnan and Sichuan. Women and children live communally, but each woman has a flower room.
Late at night, in the privacy of the flower room, she meets her lover. He may or may not spend the night. The choice is hers to make. At the end of their lovemaking, they say "Acia," which means goodbye and an end to the relationship.
The relationship may only last one night, or it can last a lifetime, but each time an interlude ends, they say, "Acia." It isn't assumed that this sexual encounter means a commitment. The original hook-up? Perhaps.
When Elizabeth Gilbert, author of the best selling book Eat Pray Love, was researching, both for personal reasons, and for her follow-up memoir to Eat Pray Love, the concept of marriage, one of the aspects of marriage that made her particularly discontent was the notion of coverture.
Ms. Gilbert writes that coverture is the belief that "a woman’s individual civil existence is erased the moment she marries." She points out that, until 1975, married women in Connecticut couldn't get a bank loan without their husband's consent. Two people becoming one, the merging of identities, meant that a husband controlled his wife. She was, through coverture, covered up.
When women are financially independent, and marriage is an option rather than a necessity, they frequently choose to remain single.
As Women Improve their Individual Status, To Live Alone is an Option
From 1970, with the passing of the Equal Pay Act, wages of American women have increased by 44%, compared to men who have experience an increase of only 6%. More than half the students in college are women. Furthermore, over twice as many single women as men own their own home, which indicates an envisioning a life of singleness, well into the future.
For many women, marriage is no longer a necessity, nor is it necessarily the only way she can improve her social standing. The idea that a woman should marry a rich man, and a man should find a trophy wife is antiquated.
When financial necessity and social convention are taken out of the equation, perhaps the main reason to marry is close companionship. However, the majority of women can and do, make close friends outside of marriage. Men, not so much, when a man loses his wife, he all too frequently loses his dearest friend, and it's difficult to find another outside of marriage. Guys don't confide in other guys.
More and more often women are embracing the single life. And because they are perfectly happy being single see no need to settle into a union that just won't work. Fortunately, we've reached a point in history when we don't have to.
Sources
Married Couples Are No Longer a Majority, Census Finds; New York Times; Sabrina Tavernise; May 26, 2011.
More and More Americans: Say I Don't; CBS News, Sunday Morning; Tracy Smith; February 13, 2011.
Are Women Better Off Alone? Marriage is no Magic Bullet For Happiness, Some Say; Webmed.com; Jeanie Lerche Davis; accessed February 9, 2012
All the Single Ladies; The Atlantic; Kate Bolick; November, 2011
Elizabeth Gilbert (2010 ); Committed: A Love Story; New York; Penguin Books
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